… what is an impostor.. or who is an impostor?
I had a misconception of this word and in a way have seen it only in a negative context. It is not always really like this but can also be a negative perception of how one see oneself.
We can all be confused about our own personality, identity, charachter in short WHO AM I? We are all impostors in one way or other.
If I dont have or can give a clear answer to this, than in a sense I AM AN IMPOSTER. Not because I am an evil person or premeditate being someone else, it is only because I dont know who I really am. Thereby I fulfill the meaning of being an imposter right now, because for the moment I really dont know who I am… but I am on the road, path to get there. I hope I will get there before the grim reaper gets me.
Being an impostor to its extreme exctenct could be called a sociopat or psychopat. A disease/sickness and at that a very dangerous one.
But there are many everyday impostor happenings…You go to work and impostor one person/quality of yourself….You come home and you are the impostor family father/mother if you have a family and are living with someone….You go to the pub and meet with your friends..impostor under the influence of alcohool….You come to another country/culture/language and you become a tourist impostor…
All this above are the natural everyday impostor, a reality for all of us. The most important question in your impostor life is if you are truly satisfied/happy/content/confident or just do it without knowing why or even asking yourself WHY I AM DOING ALL THIS? FOR WHO? FOR MYSELF? these are questions you must ask yourself one day! The sooner the better, but dont be surprised if the answer you get is a question right back at you…I DONT KNOW!
I am at crossroads with my own impostors…who I am and/or what will it become of me? My past impostors have put me here…writing this..quite alone again…wondering what will come next!
One thing is for sure…I CANNOT STAY HERE! This is my firm conclusion. I am not happy or content in this impostor role…for many reasons. I am contemplating a lot about my past and why/what brought me here to this point in my life. One thing is how I make descions and decide to act upon them. I have quite an emotional personality that is kind of the truest impostor/role/charachter in my life and makes me do the things I do. To many people (so I believe) I probably look like a little crazy or of-the-hook personality. Not schizofren(far from it) but very sensitive and have probably(for sure) become even more sensitive throughout my aging years. When you grow old you are supposed to know more…but I seem to know less. Like the saying is ”the more you know and learn, the more you know how little or nothing you actually know”! So my knowledge is…I dont know very much at all!