…is really a sad, selfpity, poor me…who cares…why? I have been writing these pages and everything for years….but who cares? can be counted on my 5 fingers..amazing…when you think you have something worthwhile to say, write, share…it is really nothing!

So is it nothing? well obviosly not, because otherwise these words would not be here….so why do I consider them NOT NOTHING?

The ironic beginning is a little poooooor me, but really it is not! Why? Well I started writing this whole Blogg not to proclaim myself…promote myself or anything else. I just wanted a channel to unload what is on my mind instead of writing on facebook or other social media.

Well I have to admit that a little attention does not hurt to boost the selfesteem. Maybe people are reading but not commenting? I dont know! Anyway I like the anonymous way of life. As I wrote before..it is not for me but for my children I write this, because somehow after my passing away maybe they would like to know more about me and who I was.

I started to discover this about my parents while they were still alive and got to learn some stories about their life. I am so glad for this, because in some ways it helps me understand who I am.

So I started this to help them in the future…when they get old…sit down and read this and maybe understand why they are the way they are. And expecially why I was the way I was.

..are all kind of definitions for our use to help us using words to give life meaning. In essence they are just words that are trying to express a deeper more profound sentiment! Hmm…. sentiment another interesting word! I found one definition that came close ”an idea colored by emotion” beautiful! Cant get enough of this definition/explanation.

But back to the initial title…I really dont know if I am only one of three? I am more likely all! If I come into a conversation revovling around existensialism I can go around this without involving religion (though I find it Hard) because my basic belief and respect is that everyone are entitled to their own belief/faith/opinion. I try to as long as it does not conflict with some of my basic fundamental beliefs of every humans right of existense regardless of colour , belief, creed, language, culture……..

People that cannot accept these basic fundamental Rights (above mentioned) are hardly worth my time.

.how close the truth is to a lie? is a lie sometimes better than the truth? and in this case? how?

we always almost declassify the lie! Why? We use it daily in our Lifes…it is scientificily proven! So why does a LIE put us in an awkward/discomfortalble postion!

So on the other counterpart we have the TRUTH or is it a LIE?

Of course in the best of Worlds the TRUTH wins over the poor lie!

I am using the lie as a way to not say the whole truth often…and sometimes I dont know if it really is a lie? I have a friend that I dont trust 100% or feel that we have not come so far in our friendship where I feel that I am comfortable to tell him/her everything. So the lie is or not saying everything is my way of avoiding the whole truth. I dont feel bad about this and I know very well that I use the lie to cover up the truth. In my defense I must say it is not in very important matters but in some everyday things.

My defense is ”it is not his business” to know everything what is going on in my life,,,so the lie is comfortable instead of not saying anything. Sometimes I avoid answering the questions…is this a lie? In a way, because if you conciously avoid the answer that you know and slide away on a sidetrack….is this a lie?

I just think as a defense of the lie it is not so bad like everybody tries to make it sound. In my eyes I am also protecting him/her from hearing the truth which might be too much at the moment.

These are lies on a everyday basis and of course not when the lie becomes a tool to gain power over other people….like Hitler did and many of todays world leaders…this is using the lie to manipulate people to your idea….and the world is full of them today…manipulative leaders.

and one more thing…I am not a perpetual lier and think that I go around lying all the time…I am still a lover of the truth….but there was somebody that once said….”the truth? you are not strong enough to handle the TRUTH so shut up!”

i was only 16 going on 17 with a lot of Peace and Love in my life…but Little did i think and know about what really was going on around me. I called myself a concious person…aware and knowing what was going on!

But watching this programme on TV remembering what really happened 1968…it was a terrible violent terrible year and I just lived in Peace and Love. By the way my Peace and Love was drugs and rock´a roll! And a few more things. It is strange you call the years 67, 68 and end up with Woodstock 69 as I would call it the Love years.

Lets focus on the year of 1968…a lovely year?? nope! Lets start with the Prague spring..a wonderful revolution got stamped out by Sovjetunion because they got to free…what a paradox especially if you know the excuse from the a sovjet soldier as to why they motivated this invasion.

But one of the most horrific events this year took Place in Mexico that hosted the Olympics this year…because behind the scene was a quiet student revolt wanting a more transparent democracy. Just days before the inauguration of the Olympic Games of 1968 in Mexico City there was a demonstration in a square in Mexico City…what happened? Peaceful demonstrators were violently attacked by soldiers with machinguns and helicopters….the number of deaths?? They were so many that the square had to be cleaned with strong water canons for hours because of all the blood. Peaceful, loving people asking for Peace and understanding!! The reason? The goverment wanted to show that a Peaceful Olympic Games could take place! Can you see the paradox?

So these are 2 things….Lets move on to Vietnam…1968 is considered to be one of the most violent years in the Vietnam war…and then you can imagine what happened and how many lifes it cost…it is just Amazing how a tranquil,,,easy going…fishing village (been this for centuries) can be totally bombed and destroyed…WHY? because someone high up there in the hierchy decided that this village is the centre of a military command…how many people died…not interesting…just numbers! (see the irony of this?)

And a few minor things…Robert Kennedy got assasinated…Martin Luther King got assasinated….People that tried to be and make a difference.

It took me a few years to realise the reality of this year…but now looking in the mirror I can say…Yes I remember! But as a 16 year old…living life and doing the things I did….I dropped out of school..went sailing on a cargo ship to South America…life for me was Peace and Love…but not in the world!

The lesson? The world today 2020 is not a peaceful world! Have we learned? No! It is even worse of today than it was 1968! So in comparision to 2020 maybe 1968 was Peace and Love…this to make us understand how bad the world is today.

are we getting wiser with all the knowledge we have today? dont kid yourself…we are getting more stupid!