I have identified certain behavioural patterns in my life/personality that maybe I should not be so proud off or should pay attention to! In connection with me drinking alchohool they are amplified to an almost compulsary behaviour. It is both for good and bad, but the bad is that I am not in control of it! Thereby it is a compulsary behaviour!
It is not a violent, obscene or I feel hurtful, more than that I would or want to have control over it, but to often I yield/submit to it and act out on it. It often starts/begin with that I notice someone or hear a conversation! It catches my attention and I focus in on it!
The more time goes on the more I get this compulsary behaviour that I need to get involved or just say Hello! This can happen both when I am alone or with friends. A simple example of my compulsary behaviour is when I hear someone speak italian. It does not take me many seconds before I am there, no second thoughts whatsoever. Sometimes I can observe a certain person with a somewhat odd behaviour that intrigues me and I just feel compelled to talk to this person. But sometimes I also get annoyed by how some people talk about certain subjects that can make me react.
But l feel that the problem (sometimes I dont feel it is a problem, but a resource!) for me is that I often act upon it as a reflex and not so thought fully considered.
As always or many of my reflections under this Heading is nothing but a reflection and a reflection to me is just a reflection and not a novel or some epic disclosure!
