When DOES a friend BECOME A friend…

I have thought about this lately in my life, especially since I moved to this new place/village. I have lived here for almost 6 months now. It was a big change in my life leaving the known, including friends of old. People that I know/knew since I was 5-6 years old.

This new place is a new start in many ways. Getting adjusted to a completly new environement and routines. Including finding new friends. A new social context, with all what it means. Just to get around and where is my place. Not that I am so concerned to find my place or fit in. This is one of the reasons why I moved. I dont want to fit in/or having a difficulty to conform —in a way. When you live long enough in one place you somehow slowly fit in/conform. Like a slow working poison that get into your system without you even noticing it.

It is like when you get used to a certain climate whether it is cold or hot. You just learn to adjust/conform .

So what does this have to do with my my subject FRIENDS or FRIEND! I came here to my new home and not having any friend(s). I meet this person the first evening that I was here. A wonderful meeting… like 2 peas in a pod. A lot in common concerning the philosophical questions. He is a person a few years younger than me with a colourful background to say the least. This has grown through the months we have known each other. There have been arguments and differences in how we look at things and view life, but not enough to break the friendship.

My point is that friendship is not based on loose, temporary accidental meetings. Friendship is like a plant that needs both roots, trunk and branches. After this you can grow leaves, flowers, fruits etc.

But for me the most important part of the tree in friendship are the roots. Without this you cannot have a real lasting friendship. In the dark beneath the soil you find the thoose things that really is what friends are all about. So what are the roots deep down in the dark dirt. This is where your secrets, not the glamour or glory is ”buried” thoose things that has formed your personality/character.

My point is that to form a friendship you have to reveal what is below and not above(the obvious) that everybody can see. It is in learning and seeing and really knowing the other persons weaknesses (and of course vice-versa) is what forms/create a friendship.

So this new ”friend”have not demonstrated weaknesses more than the comfortable weaknesses. The point is that we are often very willing to admit some of thoose weaknesses that are close to the surface/the trunk. But thoose weaknesses/ truths buried way down there in the dark, that really exposes us…..this is not easy. Because this is what make you vulnerable.

We all have them and strangely enough thoose truths are often what defines us and it is what have shaped us given our character.

Anyway with this new friend…. There is progress!