Emotional lake…of Either success or disaster?

Sometimes when i am feeling melancholy and dive into the emotional lake of my life,,,,I feel like I am drowning and got to swim (sometimes like crazy) to keep my head/mind above waters. It is a challenge that easily can lead to depression or even psychosis…! People that dont have a distance/understanding as to what feelings/emotions are, are in the danger zone for psychic/mental diseases! Know how to swim in other words!

If you go to the origin the cause of how physchological disorder become such a complicated disease to cure/rehabilite, there is a chance/ a possibility to intervene before it goes to far !

To cure/or prevent which is not only better but I believe is the only ”cure”! Once you have been diagonosed with this ” disease” , you will most likely be a ”victim”, ” prisoner” to this psychological sickness/disease/illness/disorder! It is often a lifelong relationship!

Is my personality/character my prison/destiny

Why am I the way I am? Do I like it? And if so why cant I do something about it? Sometimes I feel and experience that my personality is my enemy! It does things and say things that sometimes only causes me trouble and pain! Not that I intentionally hurt somebody or want to inflict pain! I dont mean in a physical way but more in a verbal way! I could never hurt somebody physically unless somebody would hurt or do harm to my children or grandchildren! And yes if I see some bullies harrassing or hurting a weaker person!

But these are the positive sides of my personality, maybe?

Regardless of the above mentioned I still feel in general that our personalities/charachter is our prison! So make the best out of it! I sometimes see the world around me like a circus! Why? Because in a circus we allow the not-conforming personalities/characters! The people that are not like you and me !

But is it really like this? Sometimes when I sit on a bench in the town square and watch ALL these people passing by! All these different people passing me by, this is a circus a performance to me! Not in a negative way, on the contrary! You learn to see the ”colour” the identity/personality/character in each individual! And I do this with respect ! Because I myself think myself a particapant of the circus! And maybe somebody is watching me and seeing me as a clown in their ”circus”?!