My reason for starting this blogg is to in this way share my experiences and my love for Colombia and the latin continent,  South-America! It will involve all aspects of life….love….passion…history…..economy….politics….geograhy…culture…music…and much more….

It is not a short story but a long story that will never end……

Colombia is more than just a country, just like life has many level!

even a parrot needs a fork!
even a parrot needs a fork on occasion!

Nobody cares…

…is really a sad, selfpity, poor me…who cares…why? I have been writing these pages and everything for years….but who cares? can be counted on my 5 fingers..amazing…when you think you have something worthwhile to say, write, share…it is really nothing!

So is it nothing? well obviosly not, because otherwise these words would not be here….so why do I consider them NOT NOTHING?

The ironic beginning is a little poooooor me, but really it is not! Why? Well I started writing this whole Blogg not to proclaim myself…promote myself or anything else. I just wanted a channel to unload what is on my mind instead of writing on facebook or other social media.

Well I have to admit that a little attention does not hurt to boost the selfesteem. Maybe people are reading but not commenting? I dont know! Anyway I like the anonymous way of life. As I wrote is not for me but for my children I write this, because somehow after my passing away maybe they would like to know more about me and who I was.

I started to discover this about my parents while they were still alive and got to learn some stories about their life. I am so glad for this, because in some ways it helps me understand who I am.

So I started this to help them in the future…when they get old…sit down and read this and maybe understand why they are the way they are. And expecially why I was the way I was.

Existentialism, religious, believer..

..are all kind of definitions for our use to help us using words to give life meaning. In essence they are just words that are trying to express a deeper more profound sentiment! Hmm…. sentiment another interesting word! I found one definition that came close ”an idea colored by emotion” beautiful! Cant get enough of this definition/explanation.

But back to the initial title…I really dont know if I am only one of three? I am more likely all! If I come into a conversation revovling around existensialism I can go around this without involving religion (though I find it Hard) because my basic belief and respect is that everyone are entitled to their own belief/faith/opinion. I try to as long as it does not conflict with some of my basic fundamental beliefs of every humans right of existense regardless of colour , belief, creed, language, culture……..

People that cannot accept these basic fundamental Rights (above mentioned) are hardly worth my time.

how Close is the thruth to a lie or vice versa…

.how close the truth is to a lie? is a lie sometimes better than the truth? and in this case? how?

we always almost declassify the lie! Why? We use it daily in our Lifes…it is scientificily proven! So why does a LIE put us in an awkward/discomfortalble postion!

So on the other counterpart we have the TRUTH or is it a LIE?

Of course in the best of Worlds the TRUTH wins over the poor lie!

I am using the lie as a way to not say the whole truth often…and sometimes I dont know if it really is a lie? I have a friend that I dont trust 100% or feel that we have not come so far in our friendship where I feel that I am comfortable to tell him/her everything. So the lie is or not saying everything is my way of avoiding the whole truth. I dont feel bad about this and I know very well that I use the lie to cover up the truth. In my defense I must say it is not in very important matters but in some everyday things.

My defense is ”it is not his business” to know everything what is going on in my life,,,so the lie is comfortable instead of not saying anything. Sometimes I avoid answering the questions…is this a lie? In a way, because if you conciously avoid the answer that you know and slide away on a sidetrack….is this a lie?

I just think as a defense of the lie it is not so bad like everybody tries to make it sound. In my eyes I am also protecting him/her from hearing the truth which might be too much at the moment.

These are lies on a everyday basis and of course not when the lie becomes a tool to gain power over other people….like Hitler did and many of todays world leaders…this is using the lie to manipulate people to your idea….and the world is full of them today…manipulative leaders.

and one more thing…I am not a perpetual lier and think that I go around lying all the time…I am still a lover of the truth….but there was somebody that once said….”the truth? you are not strong enough to handle the TRUTH so shut up!”


i was only 16 going on 17 with a lot of Peace and Love in my life…but Little did i think and know about what really was going on around me. I called myself a concious person…aware and knowing what was going on!

But watching this programme on TV remembering what really happened 1968…it was a terrible violent terrible year and I just lived in Peace and Love. By the way my Peace and Love was drugs and rock´a roll! And a few more things. It is strange you call the years 67, 68 and end up with Woodstock 69 as I would call it the Love years.

Lets focus on the year of 1968…a lovely year?? nope! Lets start with the Prague spring..a wonderful revolution got stamped out by Sovjetunion because they got to free…what a paradox especially if you know the excuse from the a sovjet soldier as to why they motivated this invasion.

But one of the most horrific events this year took Place in Mexico that hosted the Olympics this year…because behind the scene was a quiet student revolt wanting a more transparent democracy. Just days before the inauguration of the Olympic Games of 1968 in Mexico City there was a demonstration in a square in Mexico City…what happened? Peaceful demonstrators were violently attacked by soldiers with machinguns and helicopters….the number of deaths?? They were so many that the square had to be cleaned with strong water canons for hours because of all the blood. Peaceful, loving people asking for Peace and understanding!! The reason? The goverment wanted to show that a Peaceful Olympic Games could take place! Can you see the paradox?

So these are 2 things….Lets move on to Vietnam…1968 is considered to be one of the most violent years in the Vietnam war…and then you can imagine what happened and how many lifes it cost…it is just Amazing how a tranquil,,,easy going…fishing village (been this for centuries) can be totally bombed and destroyed…WHY? because someone high up there in the hierchy decided that this village is the centre of a military command…how many people died…not interesting…just numbers! (see the irony of this?)

And a few minor things…Robert Kennedy got assasinated…Martin Luther King got assasinated….People that tried to be and make a difference.

It took me a few years to realise the reality of this year…but now looking in the mirror I can say…Yes I remember! But as a 16 year old…living life and doing the things I did….I dropped out of school..went sailing on a cargo ship to South America…life for me was Peace and Love…but not in the world!

The lesson? The world today 2020 is not a peaceful world! Have we learned? No! It is even worse of today than it was 1968! So in comparision to 2020 maybe 1968 was Peace and Love…this to make us understand how bad the world is today.

are we getting wiser with all the knowledge we have today? dont kid yourself…we are getting more stupid!

John Lennon…

..wrote a song happy xmas! The message in this song is loud and clear. It is a cyninism against the whole celebration of Christmas, yet artists, singers make it a ”normal” Christmas song??? The last One I listened to was Celine Dions version with some traditional picture motives, My honest reaktion to this cover version is that John Lennon would never have approved of this interpretation of his song and its message. I believe he would turn in his grave!

I agree totally….when in my late teens or early 20s I had a different Christmas experience that kind of helped me understand and relate to Johns song. It was after My drugyears or att least in the last days before I quit. To understand my reaction to this experience one has to know that I had been taken both cannabis and Lsd for quite a few years. So this the background/the setting of how I experienced this particular walk/situation….this evening…..walking the streets alone……in my hometown all alone at night…. temperature below zero……snow everywhere/beautiful… decorations with their bright lights…..and last but not least ALL and EVERY shop window filled with merchandise of every kind!

I had since some time back started to reflect about exestenialism and meaning of life and in some ways or words become a little religious. In a way this was/became my way out of drugs! Anyway this evening…just before Christmas….totally sober….under no Influence….(they say that you can have some after”trips” from Lsd or even cannabis.!? I dont know?

In the middle of the street in my hometown, cold snowy/winter night..all alone..and this is the truth. I cried out….”Jesus how misunderstood you have been!”

So in conclusion… John Lennon…I understand your song and as I once wrote…I rather hear this song on the street sung by a simple street musician than in a great concert hall sung by the already rich and famous!

Peace and Love…

…I have noticed that this is Ringo Starrs Main message, but I have another conclusion/thought about this!

I have come to a new realisation as to what these 2 words can be related/connected to. For me it all started with the Beatles and what a tremendous group this was and totally outstanding. I am the living proof of this, having followed them from day ONE when their first single game out. From that day on they were the greatest Influence in my life! Their songs, music and lyrics just made my world different.

With every album came something new…..and I mean new. They always surpassed every expectation. I could go on and on about this and nearly in detail describe this album-journey. If you were not there att the time, in the moment it is just impossible to relate to. It was Magic!

So the breakup of the Beatles was a really really a sad moment, a tragedy. How could this happened? If it was the Rolling Stones or some other band it would be easier to understand, but the Beatles?? It was impossible and yet it happened. It took some time to digest this but it was soon forgotten. Why?

Out of this came 4 strong independant musical musicans/artists. When the soloalbum with George Harrison ”All things must pass” came out I was sold on him and his message of Love and existenial questions/answers. This album came just at the right time in my chaotic, turbulent, crazy life. It helped me to understand that life is more than what meets the eye and the ear. I could go on and on about how this album came just at the right time. So thank God Beatles brooke up otherwise George Harrison would never have happened. And his message of Love!

Now to the other beatle that made a difference but in a different way yet like a complement to George Harrison. John Lennons message of Peace are one of the strongest peace messages ever presented/preached by any artists. John Lennon made it simple and clear…..there was no sugar coating the message. It was not only the lyrics that was straighforward but also the music was raw and almost naked. There was no mistaken what he wanted. I loved this way of making music and how music can make a difference!

In short summary…..the split up of Beatles was a blessing in disguise when these 2 individual artists/musicans/activists etc otherwise would not have come into their full capacity! Sad to say that they died/murdered way to early. The world lack voices like George Harrison and John Lennon.

To me they are still a beacon in my world, a comfort to My troubled soul.

(Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are great artists but in my eyes not the way George and John were)

Of course this could be much longer and more elaborate but I think the message is herr and I made my point!

Death pilot…

These words came to me because I feel society lacks this kind of knowledge/guidance. How do you guide/pilot/help someone into death…passing away…going to the other side..etc. How do we pass on(I personally like this expression) to the ”other” side, if there even is another side or if it just is a dark nothing with 6feet of dirt above!

Regardless for most people it is a painful- and anguish- filled thought and moment that most of us are very ill prepared for. Thats why maybe a Death Pilot can be a Comfort, a guide, a consoler when the time comes and you know that you have, so to say, come to deads-end!

My funeral…

..even though I am a confessing christian does not mean that I am not open to other religions and their traditions.

my dear Little baby squirrel.

Having just ”buried” my little squirrel that lived (and died) on my balcony, I wanted to give him/her a proper burial. A little ceremony to honor this little creature that spent very few days in this life. It is/was a therapy for me as well because I had really come to like this baby squirrel. The first choice (according to our culture, religion etc) is to dig a whole and put the remains there. But another idea came up and I liked it better. Mainly because I did not have a spade/shovel to dig a hole with. Why not do like the buddhist and burn it on the water. I already had a box/coffin, which fit this little fellow perfectly. It was a box made of balsa wood that normally have a wine bottle inside.

So of I went with the box, some rags, fuel and candles. It was a beautiful spring day (may), sun shining and really good temperature. I went to a lake close by and found a spot where I was alone. I did some ceremony and put the candles on the box…filled the box with rags and lots of fuel. First I lit the candles and then I put fire to the box/rags. It lit up quite a bit and I pushed it out on the lake. It went out a few meters and stopped there. The flames were quite high and burned very good. It gave me a good feeling that I gave this little creature a funeral that was a ceremony to remember.

This is what I call a Buddhist funeral and I kind of liked the idea and thought to myself and my own funeral maybe this is a good idea. Why not? Even if it is a Buddhist/Hindi ritual why can it not be ok for me being a Christian? Does this take away my belief in Christ? I dont think so. So I imagined myself being pushed out on the water on a burning float, slowly being cremated and buried in the water. I have one suggestion to make sure that I will be cremated, fill me up with whisky and rum to be sure that I really will burn up!! Kind of funny and a little humourous but so what!

Anyway this idea came to me because I did not have a shovel to bury my little squirrel friend and I had a good wooden box and I could go to a lake nearby to perform the ceremony. By the way it is very ecological because the fuel burn up..the rags burn up and the box burn up…..and of course my little friend.

No tomorrow..

…sometimes I live like there is no tomorrow… I am here and now… The choices and the descions I make are now!! The consequenses are a later subject. To discuss. But like life has taught me.. that if I dont jump…who will? Am I a bystander? Or a jumper? Well in my case a little bit of both! Maybe I should be more of a jumper?