has its advantages or/and disadvantages….why? Because there are at least two different kind of people/characters/personalities….etc to put your beliefe or trust in. This is why/where it is so difficult to draw the line! Because how do you say/how do you know Who is Who? We are allll susceptible? or easily manipultated/deceived by what is called submersive influencers. People that tend to be charisimatic/emphatic/intelligent etc.
We get so easily sucked into this. Why? There are a number of things/reasons which the perpetrator is fully aware off. These people that abuse/prey on these weaknesses are totally pshychotic and have no guilt, no emphaty, no humn values etc but only one goal to gain! And gain is only materialistic gain for themselves.
The people in this business are ruthless…inhuman…nonethical…! Totally alianted from values that you and I are used to. It is just so so so so incomprehensible! Because they have created an alternative world with other ethics, morals, emphaty….where their truths are in complete opposite of the so called normal world.
So if you do right in their world it is wrong by our standards, but in their world by their standards it is perfectly right….
How do you approach this thinking? Where do you begin??
has so many levels…somatic, psychological or even just plain everyday life! To start with the last, we dont always have to symptomise, analyse, diagnonise every pain that comes our way. We all have some level of pain but it does not necessarily have to be so complicated.
My problem is that I have a tendency to complicate, analyse too much. Even the slightest word of ”I dont feel so good” can turn me into a freudian analyst!! My God..help me! I hope that I have learned something about myself. I jump on people and start to jump into deep waters when it is enough to dipp your feet.
Anyway my subject of recognising pain is easy for me…especially psychosomatic pain. Sometimes I am surprised how easy it is. Even after a few minutes of conversation I am hooked. I ask a few questions, listen to some answers…..ask a few more..(that is my problem…asking alllll the time). And people reveal themselfes like an open book. Most people I meet are so eager/hungry to talk…and ventilate…tell who they are, what they think…etc…
And this is where PAIN comes in…because almost if not every person I meet carries some pain…that they have a need to talk about. Something that burdens their heart/spirit. So from the perspective that I think/comtemplate pain is very subjective. It is everything in the perspective from the the person who is feeling/experiencing it. I can never say/imagine or even think to understand the other persons pain. I can feel it but that does not mean I can fully understand it.
The last point…Hmmm. My problem or sensitivity or feeling or compassion or emphaty recognition is somewhat above what is expected/normal. I make myself believe this especially after 25yeare so to say working proffesionally in social work…and before that in voluntary work (so-to-say) where humans were priority. I have learned something….I think…
Anyway this is what kind of ”plagues” me to have this sensitivity to pain and feeling other peoples pain….making it my pain…my problem etc. Sometimes it is difficult but I would not want to live without it! because what is the alternative? a cold, calcultating, psycho…..
…to be continued another day, month or year.
I have walked through so many doors in my life and also closed many many doors… Every door is like a chapter and some doors are heavier, they are books. Because they are so HEAVY to close and have some weight to it. This means it was not that easy to close. It was not just a closet door but a front door an entry door. These doors are having another construction, different material and quality. They are supposed to keep you safe and secure. So when you have to close these doors and start to build a new one it takes time. Building and construting a new home symbollically starts with a safe and secure door. Through this door everybody has to enter and step over its treshold. You decide to open or not and here you decide who is going to enter.
So are you careful about who enters your life? Do you have a good door? And do you have a treshold to decide who gets over it and enter into your life and your home.
is a sad quote from Alexander the Great when he thought that he had conquered it all! What did this really mean? Did he have a lack of vision? or was he just satisfied with what he got? did he feel frustration that even though, when he had conquered such vast territories, it still did not fill the void that he had in his soul.
Is not really this what we are trying to conquer….the void inside of ourselfes but continusually filling it with the wrong things,,,things that can never satisfy that void. We can feel that there are nothing more to conquer because we are still as empty as when we began.
And when you think about it this is maybe what Alexander the Great really meant….the void inside him was not even close to be filled because he focused on the wrong things,,,totally missed the mark. When you realise this..the emptiness just overwhelms you and you get so dissillusioned and depressed that you do like Alexander the Great…do desperate things/actions…and ultimately kill yourself.
Is there a cure? Well the cure is up to each and everyone of us because the only one that has the key to the solution is you!! You can try to run from it but it will eventually catch up with you and alllll those conquesta you have made in life will, like sand, sip their way through your fingers and ultimately your hand will be empty.
Is this your life? What have you conquered lately that will not fade away but remain!
My own reflection is that I feel that I have had a full life and I have conquered the right things so to say. I feel full and I feel that I am ready to pass on and will by every means be satisfied with the life I have lived. There are no regrets (yes a few minor) but I feel that LIFE has been good to me. So are there more things to conquer? Probably? But I am Home!
…in my life I have many rewards and the sum of it is that I couldn´t be more rewarded, if you know what I mean. There are so much that fills my cup that like the Bible says ”my cup runneth over”! I really cannot describe it in any other way.
When a man like me, 67 going on 90, can look back and can still look forward is an amazing life. Looking back…wow and I can say of days to come WOW! Why, because if you have read anything that I have written you know that my past is not something that ordinary people have lived.
But I had another aspect, sort of reflection tonight as I sit here and write this. It is not negative or depressive but still somewhat DARK!! I could go to bed tonight…whenever I wanted to…but the real sum of life…I can or dont want to get up tomorrow…..it is kind of the dark side of me…Imagine if I could decide or choose….
TONIGHT I PASS ON……….but it is never with regrets but with my rewards in life….
…is an interesting book that defines two kind of people. A rough but interesting generalisation.
The somewheres can almost always be found in the place where they were born whereas the anywheres are global and have a difficulty to agree/conform/match with the somewheres and vice/versa.
What I find interesting is that you cannot say that there is a wrong or right but more just an analysis of the difference of the both. Of course I have my opinion and view of this analysis, but it is coloured by my own background and way of Life. I am definetly not a somewhere and will never be. I am right now in the middle of such a break up or change or whatever…. It is again a move…
…can be so difficult to move outside, break the chain/routine of comfort. We get very easily accustomed to regularities. It is easy to understand,but for me I just cant find any comfort in this.
I am restless and have a difficulty in what most people consider COMFORT! My comfort in many peoples/friends eyes is maybe discomfort instead.
What is Peace of Mind? For me it is my journey to my final destination with some stops on the way. But I am a sojourner/traveller, passing through, always on the road of Life.
Even when I try to stop, grow roots, settle down be comfortable, create a comfort zone something happens. It is often out of my control and kind of forces me to break with the situation that I thought would be my comfort zone.
…that you are the next one to go! I was once a young man thinking that being immortal was part of the deal/package. Beacause there was so many before me that had to die……grandmother, grandfather, uncles, aunts, parents etc. And I thought of myself as someone way down the line and thoughts like this was the furthest away from me.
But suddenly the grandparents where gone and buried, but there were still plenty of aunts and uncles and of course my parents. But as time went on even they became mortals and died.
Now the conclusion is that it is my turn. The tables have turned and time has caught up with me as well. The immortal teenager. Suddenly I am the grandfather and next in turn.
Life is so definite!
different levels and how they can change. I feel very much that friendship can be defined in many ways. I could use numbers, where a friend number 1 is the best and 10 the not so best(still friend) or I could use colours where red is the hot and blue the cold….or metals, gold is very good friend, silver a lesser friend, copper, iron, brass etc.
Why this? Because just because a person is a number 10 does not mean he/she is an enemy. I just have to learn how to act when I am with these different categories.
To be a number 1 friend with me is not easy to achieve. Sad to say that just now there is no one in this category. I had some but they have slipped down to 3 maybe 4. Suddenly they have become acquaintances and have lost that special dimension.
As it is now my closest is my children and grandchildren. They are always number 1 and can never slip outside this.
I have another description of friendship and it is circular where the core the innermost circle belongs first to my children and maybe some friend but even this takes a lot of trust and mutual trust. I have to trust them and they have to trust me and also we give each other priority. In the2nd circle so to say I have some but even here I am careful. And in the 3rd you can have social acquaintances and even some work collegues.
Can write a lot about this but for right now I feel a little sad because of a former number 1 friend that now is nr 3 friend.
very seldom or never change their psychological profile. Their body might change, material status etc. But the psychological profile/personality is very difficult to change.