…to the conclusion that I am not gonna live forever even if sometimes it feels like this..because somehow we are experts postponing our definite end..the ultimate destination.
So I am trying to make some changes while I still can and coming to my 70th birthday I realise that there might not be so much sand left in the timeglass and there is no refill…it just keeps on pouring through this tiny crack..Somehow it is a good symbolism…it passes from one existence into another still unknown existence. I like it because then life is not lost or just lived in vain…but just goes to another place..universe.
Like I heard today at my work…working with handicaped people(not handicaped to me). this person went up to the clock on the wall and turned it around made it facing the wall instead! We asked Why did you do that? He wisely answered time goes to fast…and it was no need to be faced by it by looking at a clock constantly. Such wisdom. We live by the clock. I dont want to live my last years in this life…BY THE CLOCK!
Anyway back to my contemplation(on of my favourite words) and I am finally getting to a point where I have to get going and get my ass of the wagon(wrote about this a long time ago. http://aste.se/wp-admin/post.php?post=183&action=edit) So I am pretty far in my contemplation about leaving this coming autumn. It is not just a thought but a plan.
i WILL LIVE IN THE HEARTS OF THOOSE I LEAVE BEHIND…SO I DONT HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE…