..if you are a serious person answering on my website….please refer to something more directly and not just flattering…want to keep my site free from virus. trojans and other garbage….
Thank you!
Kategoriarkiv: personal reflections
My day to day thoughts!
Unconditional Love!
There are many kinds of love and also very many ways of expressing Love. Another important side, the ways to interpret Love is based on several conditions that you cannot overlook or forget when doing an analysis. My general idea of this way to interpret/understand Love have quite a few background variables that I will try to further expound/explain in this short essay. Some examples or ideas can depend on where you are born, culture, religion, economic conditions/situation, size of family, gender, climate, political situation (democracy, dictator ship) etc.
These above mentioned are essential variables when it comes to understand/explain what the word Love means and how it is practised in every day life around the world. The word Love is a universal word but have so many different colours that it makes the rainbow look like childs play with colours. The pallete to describe Love depends on who holds the pallete and what colours you decide to there. Sad to say in a few cultures Love is very/only black or white. To me Love has to include all colours or it is not Love. Love is including not excluding!
If we start with the cultural backgrounds to start off with, we have all the different european cultures that nearly all have their different ways of distinguishing the meaning/interpretation/implementation of Love. The Scandinavian, the german, french, italian, spanish, greek and more! You dont have to be a genius to imagine that there are differences by just reading the names of these countries. And this is just from the perspective from the word culture. Lets say you mix in additional factors like religion, language, history, political economic situation and not to mention gender. The difference being born a girl or a boy makes a huge difference what Love will mean for the rest of their lifes!
I want to remind my reader of the title ”Unconditional Love” how and what it means with these variables to take into consideration when using the word Love and for example saying ”I love you!” can be/mean such a huge difference depending who you are(background) and the person you say it to.
I have quite a bit of experience in this myself being swedish and have had relationship with women of different cultures etc and have had to learn how to adapt, compromise, accept etc many things. For good and bad, but mainly good because it has taught me a lot about Love and how different it is looked upon and how it is practised/performed in all of these different countries around the world.
I have also lived in many countries with a big variety of culture, history, religion, language etc. Among the countries that I have lived in are Italy, Greece, Spain, France, Thailand, lately I have travelled to Colombia and been there 13 Times. What Love is and how it is expressed when I lived in these countries has many different colours on the pallete and each country has their own distinguished colour, but of course with all the other colours includes. At least most of these countries allow to mix with all the colours but every country has their own main colour. Will ellaborate on this later in. Mostly what I have learned and seen but this is just generally speaking. Love is very much being something that is surrounded by many rules and regulations, especially the Love between 2 persons.
More to say about this and many personal experiences. Hope to write more soon!
They alll thought that they were good and did good…but
Napoleon, Alexander the great, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Franco and many more that history has accredited them to be the more evil in the scale of evil!
Then you have the lesser evil persons! Among them we have a lot of learned men scientist, philosophers, priests and even some common men that might have meant to do good but other men have used it for a bad purpose.
Good is an inflated word that has more colours than we ever can imagine. Lets just take the colour of Grey. To me it is one of the most complicated colours there are. Why? Because the colour of grey is the colour that actually to me is not a colour! Why again! Grey is the colour that either is leaning on either how much or less black or white is mixed into it.
This is to me how you approach the truth and define it. Who or what is colouring/proclaiming to say that they have the truth. To me the most truthful people are thoose who say ”this is what I think” ”this is what I know” etc.. and then go on to say ”what do you think?” ”Do you have another point of view”. By doing this you come to a consensus, a mutual understanding and this is a bit closer to the truth.
Having conversations, arguments, dialoges etc is an essential part and path to find or know the truth.
And in a way these people that I mentioned in the beginning were not particulary known for being open to this above mentioned.
Sad to say today the world is getting filled up with these kind of leaders, with Trump and Putin leading the way. There is big problems ahead of us!
loose thoughts…
My privledge as old is that I am not so much in the planning but in the executing, doing things…
It is logical, intellectual, wise, reasonable, sensible people/friends that have helped me to understand that I am not an idiot, lunatic, crazy, insane.
integrity…is something we all wish to achieive but at the same time it collides with independence. because we wish for both to agree/reconcile…there is a difference how you interpret/make meaning out of these 2 words
Damaged nerves…
..can be likened to a giant cable that have been cut through and demolished. Some cables get only slightly damaged but some get completly severed and cut through. Inside this cable are hundreds of coloured small cables, in the case of a human being millions of nerve ends. In the case of a trauma or some unexpected thing that happen the nerves get damaged and have to be puzzled back together. Depending on the severity of the damage, like in the case of the cable being severed, you have to assess what messures/treatment has to be applied. Also what expertise is needed. Sometimes it is possible to let it heal by itself, but in the case of nerves there is nearly always a permanent damage. The brain has registred the damage and stores it in our memory bank to always be remembered. Our brains have a way to store traumatic moments/events in our lifes more than when we get physically injured. If we have too much trauma/incidents in our life we can tend to develop a permanent condition/weakness/infirmity such as depression, anxiety even psychosis and other psychological sicknesses.
My point is that it is very difficult to repair damaged nerves and the damage is often more longlasting than any other damage that are somatic. And much more can be written about this to further expand on the subject of damaged nerves and its consequences!
Moods…
Sometimes I feel that somehow moods are disconnected and superior to feelings! The mood I am in affect my feelings, the way I feel! If my mood is melancholy it kind of directs the way my feelings are. The mood is the sub current that you cannot see but rules my feelings on the surface. Feelings are just the symptom not the actual cause. The mood is so much deeper and more difficult to define.
In this moment my mood is very melancholy which affects my feelings either to be negative or positive, because for me melancholy sometimes give me good feelings but like now it is more depressive and black. This is because of some circumstanses in my life now.
The mood you are in is something that just come like the weather, seasons etc. I just have to accept it and do the best out of it. Surprisingly we are more subject and ruled by our moods, more than we think. A lot of times our moods scares us and causes deep depressions, psychosis and other psychological sicknesses, which often become life long. Psychic illness are almost impossible to cure, you just have to learn to live with it.
I am sometimes..
…so tired of it All! Not in a negative way but plain tired. What is the use of waking Up? Going through the motions, put your life on repetative and just go through the motions!
Sometimes I am not so sure about how excited I am about the journey anymore. Maybe I just want to get to the destination. I know there are much to live for and I know that there is more to live for than to die for, but this does not stop me from sometimes feeling and thinking that it would be ok to get off and say that the journey was good, very good actually but reaching/arriving at the destination having had such a wonderful journey is also a big satisfaction. Life has been very good to me, an absolutely fantastic, magic journey that I would not trade with anyone!
And now my life has suddenly taken a turn that make me think even more if it is worth it! When you actually think that what you did was good but in the eyes of others and especially one person was utterly and without mercy condemned and because of this thing everything else also was thrown out! And I was condemned also by people I thought I knew and I also thought knew me! It is interesting how fickle the mind and psychic is! Anyway my conclusion is! It is again time to move on!
And this is what sometimes wear me out! The process! To be thrown out in the water and SWIM! Or drown/give Up! But l guess that I will swim because I dont like to drown!
We laugh….
…but laugh is more than a laugh! Because so many laughs are just a stab in the back! A laugh to hide our honest intentions! Where the cards are really played! When you play poker you look at the people you play against to find something that gives them away, a clue as to how you can find out what cards he/she really has. Because if you get it wrong you loose the pot. There is no middle way, compromise, sharing the pot. If you read them wrong you loose. So how important it is too know yourself and trust your own way of distinguishing between people. Because we do it all the time, place people in pockets where we feel they belong.
So the next time you here someone laugh, listen extra careful!
Compulsary behavoiur…
I have identified certain behavioural patterns in my life/personality that maybe I should not be so proud off or should pay attention to! In connection with me drinking alchohool they are amplified to an almost compulsary behaviour. It is both for good and bad, but the bad is that I am not in control of it! Thereby it is a compulsary behaviour!
It is not a violent, obscene or I feel hurtful, more than that I would or want to have control over it, but to often I yield/submit to it and act out on it. It often starts/begin with that I notice someone or hear a conversation! It catches my attention and I focus in on it!
The more time goes on the more I get this compulsary behaviour that I need to get involved or just say Hello! This can happen both when I am alone or with friends. A simple example of my compulsary behaviour is when I hear someone speak italian. It does not take me many seconds before I am there, no second thoughts whatsoever. Sometimes I can observe a certain person with a somewhat odd behaviour that intrigues me and I just feel compelled to talk to this person. But sometimes I also get annoyed by how some people talk about certain subjects that can make me react.
But l feel that the problem (sometimes I dont feel it is a problem, but a resource!) for me is that I often act upon it as a reflex and not so thought fully considered.
As always or many of my reflections under this Heading is nothing but a reflection and a reflection to me is just a reflection and not a novel or some epic disclosure!
Chaos or Structure?
I am a person that always have had a difficulty with structure in my life. This is generally speaking and then I must define my view of structure contra chaos! And why I say ”generally”! Without emphasizing too much or exaggerate, it is a word that is often used out of context or misused without people really knowing the meaning or definition. So on the whole is there an explantion or a definition for the word?
For my situation and why I have a difficulty with structure in my life is based on most of all my working schedule which for me is fantastic but sometimes create a chaos in my mind and life because I dont know what day of the week it is! I work on a 6 week schedule which includes working weekends, holidays, 24 hours shifts, starting at 2pm and quit at 8.30pm and then start at 8am the next morning. It also includes being free weekdays and sometimes being free 5 days on this 6 week schedule. So my work hours are very unstructured and very contrary to the normal monday to friday, 8am to 5pm schedules. The only structure is that my schedule repeats itself every 6 weeks! But I tend to forget and cant see the structure but have to look at each day as it comes!
So this is a description to my unstructured world at work but as a privat person it is just about the same. When I am ”free”, which sometimes are many hours and many day, I need to do those other things, shopping, cleaning, laundry, cooking, dishes etc. I delibertly put them in this order because the first 3 I do when needed and no schedule. Cooking is because I like to cook but also need to eat. I hate dishes and try to do them as soon as they are dirty. So my chaos is ruled by when it is needed to do it and not after an absolute schedule that most other people like to do it. Friday-cleaning, monday-laundry etc. It is not that I like my home to look like a pigsty or smell like one but it does not also look like perfect hotelroom.
And to add to my unstructured person…I sit here at 2am in the morning and write this to underline how my world is. So welcome to my mini chaos world with control of the situation.
(061208)