…in a dream…a song…a spring day, …an autumn day of colous…or even a cold snowy winter day….an ocean wave ..that will take me home…

am i here by chance or choice.??? my parents choice…my chance/luck/blessing/curse/chaos!!

I sit here in my lonely universe…drunk my wine…had my bath…thought my thoughts…tried some new..but still the same…back on number 1 ! why did I ever think I was more than a number 1?…because a number 2 was double from what I was…but who cared…who new…that saw the number !! A number 1 does not mean that I am better than anyone else….I am number 1 to myself..because I answer to myself first of all…I am responsible for my deeds, thoughts, words, decisions…

It is not easy to be number 1…can be very lonely..even depressing at times.

….är constantly exchanged, ideas presented, thoughts pass like express trains…we call it socialise, keep company…

But we still are most of the time alone and even lonely!

And sadly we pay very little attention to the words that are being said. We are like prisoners of our own words, thoughts, ideas…and ”wisdom”, we seldom learn from others in the way that it causes us to change and think another way, another thought, another idea, another concept…

we go home and forget…why?

..feelings, expressions etc is or can be my biggest problem that causes me to hurt people…but this has never been my intention…

Many things I say is from how I feel and are not to hurt or say anything bad about people that have been close to me…I am sorry for this but at the same time this is who I am…

My only excuse is that I am not a coffee friend…or HELLO friend…well yes I am…but this is not my definition of a deep friend…more like a casual friend…

In this way I believe that friendship that many friends have become coffee friends..and we will probably not meet again…this is the feeling I get…

makes me sad…very sad………