…I sadly or happily have come to this conclusion in my life. Right now everything is in between in my life…in between friends…in between homes…in between jobs…in between countries….in between is a long word…and you never know when it ends. In a way I am trying my best to end it…but then on the other hand how did I end up here? Was my life such a disaster…failure…mistake? No..thank God there are branches to hang on to!

But right now I am looking for a way out. I bought myself a small bathtub (60cm in lenght and 80 in depth) that have been my therapi. Tonight I thought about it because it is so small and it is a little crazy why I like it so much….I have to crumble up in it and sit in a fetal position…And I sit there in a steaming hot water mini tub…and I relax. OK it is like being in your mothers womb again…maybe that is why it such a good therapy! You tell me! They say from the moment you were born…you whole life you are always striving to get back in there…..I guess the best time in your life was the time before you were born…because after that all hell brooke loose! Just kidding..or? You screamed like hell when you came out ..or?

I relax a lot when I sit in this foster position a few times a week…candles lit…a cold beer..or a glas of red wine…and soft music….and hot water that nearly cook my flesh….and sweat…..then I contemplate….IF TODAY WAS PERFECT…THERE WOULD BE NO NEED OF TOMORROW! It is kind of crazy because most people but big jaucusis and tubs…and I sit here in my minitub….such an opposite…

So I will continue my road ”in between” to whatever destination life will take me this time…

I am making plans for another home….another country…

the sad ending is….that I thougt would never happen…in-between-friends. I might be alone….and even somewhat lonely…but I am just in-between…right? everything comes to an end or beginning….