When I am travelling like I am now (right over the Atlantic,10600m above) my ”now” is not here but more in my anticipation of a ”now”! I am waiting for ”now” to happen. Why? My thoughts are maybe not here altogether now but they are already in the meeting, the anticipation/what I think to expect/is the now! This is why now is so hard, because now seems so dull, boring and is just a necessary evil to get you to the next destination/anticipation.
We always talk about living ”NOW”, but now seems ot consisting of making plans building up new anticipations/now´s! We have such a difficulty being in a now, especially when we meet friends, coworkers, family etc. What do we tell them? Our plans! Anticipations! Of course we tell stories about our lived anticipations as well. Why? To provoke them, make them jeolous? I dont think this is our intention all the time but many times. But in doing this we also challenge the other person with what she/he has for plans/anticipations.
Because this has become the new thing, THE NEW NOW, what is going to happen. If you dont have anything to come up with, you are a looser or they feel sorry for you! Because without Anticipation, the new Now, you cannot be happy!!
(wrote 18june2013 on my way to meet Pilar in Colombia!)
How many things recur all the time in ones life, for good or bad, without us even thinking/reflecting about it. The older you get the more things tend to recur more often like you are in a circle rather than in a spiral motion/movement. For me what is important is to keep the ”circle” open to keep it from closing and thereby be in a complete repetative motion where nothing new is added. It can seem like a comfortzone, securtity to let the spiral close itself and in this way we stop adding things to our life.
I have seen some frightening examples of this, especially people who have been very active and progressive in life and then suddenly illness affect them. They loose control and in this way involuntary are forced into a circular life. I took care of my sick parents for several years and tried as much as possible to be the person that injected some inspiration to their otherwise circular life. But back to the thought of how tempting circular life can be especially the older you get and letting the circle close. It is a challenge to keep the ”circle” open and let it be a ”spiral”! Of course there is a positive and a negative spiral also! And if you are in a negative spiral maybe it is better to close the circle until you can find a way to break the negativeness!
Many thoughts on this subject…but it is a metaphor and if you read this! Make it your metaphor!
we all are trying to create a sense of context/coherency in life…from the moment we are born, the mosaic beginns…..until the day we pass away! The journey is called life and all that it involves. When you stand there at the end of the road or at least have passed the major part of life…What is the conclusion? Is your story/life coherent? Is you mosaic understandable? Does it really tell the story like you want it to be? or is your mosaic a incoherent pattern where you cant see a clear picture but just a confusion of pieces thrown togehter.
Maybe that is ok with you but I always try to find the context and a coherency in my life,…to give it meaning and a purpose! And also to set the (even though I belong to the flop/old side/age/) goals for tomorrow. I believe purpose is an essential part of life….a sense of purpose/meaning! And this is regardless of nationality, etnicity, race, religion, finances….etc.
My reason for starting this blogg is to in this way share my experiences and my love for Colombia and the latin continent, South-America! It will involve all aspects of life….love….passion…history…..economy….politics….geograhy…culture…music…and much more….
It is not a short story but a long story that will never end……
Colombia is more than just a country, just like life has many level!